Boundaries, Dignity, and Building a Strong FoundationShort on time or prefer to listen? Click below to listen to the full post. Where did the term "gaslighting" even come from? And why, lately, are we so quick to label others? I’m hearing more terms being thrown around than ever before—narcissist, gaslighting, boundary pusher, and the like. But what do these terms really mean? And not in the double rainbow way that makes you smile—at least, not me. Who are we to claim to truly know anything about someone else, especially in that regard? We may know how they make us feel, but even that can get complicated. Can someone actually "make" us feel something? Feelings, after all, are our reactions to experiences. And let's face it, when it comes to personal dynamics, there's a lot to unpack here. Just writing about it, I’m getting a little twisted. One thing I am clear about: I don’t love it when my boundaries are pushed. But, I’ll admit, I’m not always clear on what those boundaries are myself. It’s a goal of mine to express them when relevant, though. Generally, I start by sharing my values. For the most part, I find that people in alignment with my values don’t push those boundaries—unless they’re merely paying lip service. Then, of course, I share my boundaries explicitly. If they get violated once or twice, I try to re-express them because, honestly, it’s not the other person’s job to remember and act on them perfectly. While I’d hope they want to respect them, communication is key. If the boundary gets crossed again, it may indicate misalignment. When there’s good faith on both sides, we can work through it. It’s a learning process, and practice makes progress—it doesn’t happen overnight. If someone doesn’t want to be aligned, I’m excellent at creating space. Not everyone is meant to align, and that’s more than okay—it’s what makes us all unique. On the subject of boundaries, there was a time in my life when I felt completely lost. I remember literally Googling "what are healthy boundaries," not for an explanation, but for a list! I had no clue where to begin. For me, learning healthy boundaries has been a journey. Some of us are raised with great models, and some of us, well, aren’t.
Now, gaslighting—a term that’s been making the rounds lately. So, where did it come from, and what does it mean? The term "gaslighting" originates from a 1938 play called Gas Light, later adapted into a film. In the story, a husband manipulates his wife into doubting her own reality by dimming the gaslights and then denying that they are flickering. Gaslighting, as we understand it today, happens when someone’s words and actions don’t align, but they persistently deny or twist the truth to make you question your perception, emotions, or sanity. So how does this tie into boundaries? Well, gaslighting often violates boundaries—intentionally or not. When you tell someone how you feel, and they manipulate your reality by saying, “That didn’t happen,” or, “You’re imagining things,” it can make you second-guess yourself. Gaslighting isn’t just about lies; it’s about control, about eroding your trust in yourself and your boundaries. But here’s something else to consider: when we label others—whether it’s calling them a narcissist, a gaslighter, or some other term—we might unintentionally strip away their dignity. And when we strip their dignity, we often lose some of our own in the process. It’s easy to point fingers, but as the saying goes, when we point one finger, there are four pointing back at us. What if this tendency to label others is a form of gaslighting ourselves—a way to avoid looking deeper into our own reactions, our own boundaries, and our own truth? Instead of focusing on labels, what if we shifted our attention to what those labels really mean for us? What about our reactions makes us so quick to categorize someone else's behavior? Could it be that these moments are invitations to reflect on where we need to strengthen our own foundation? After all, when we take ownership of our emotions, we reclaim our dignity. But the power to set, maintain, and enforce boundaries is always within us. It’s a skill we develop, sometimes painfully, but ultimately, it helps us protect our energy, mental health, and relationships. Remember, boundaries are for you. They’re about maintaining your integrity and ensuring that you feel safe and respected in your interactions with others. In a world filled with complex dynamics, our boundaries—just like the flicker of gaslights—are essential in illuminating what’s true for us. So, why am I bringing this up?What are your values? What are your boundaries? How do your values play out in your relationships and within your community? Are you being true to yourself? To your community? Or are you gaslighting yourself—or maybe even others? What I care about here, mostly, is you. Be very clear on what your values are so that you can be true to yourself. I spend most of my day talking about building a strong foundation—both physically and emotionally. Honestly, I believe they are one and the same. They’re so intertwined that most of us don’t even know how to unpack them, much like my “Google what healthy boundaries are” moment. If we’re solid physically, we can be emotionally available. And if we’re solid emotionally, we can certainly make time to be solid physically. After all, we’re here in this world to become the best versions of ourselves, right? That’s why you found me. That’s why we’re here at Monarch, working together to be good, great, and even better. So back to values. Let’s get clear on this: Family isn’t a value. What does it mean to be part of a family? Is it about feeling loved, always showing up, being supportive, constructive, or critical? It’s different for all of us. Get clear on what that means to you. Now, health—is that a value? Maybe, if you’re clear about what it means to you. For instance, if I were to tell you that being healthy is my number one value, would you really know what that means to me? Probably not. Because for me, health is a moving target—constantly evolving and something I learn about as I go. So, let’s get really clear together—as a community—so we can show up for each other. Let’s detox the noise, drop the labels, and claim our mental health. With clarity, there is sanity. Let's start there and build our strong foundations—inside and out. New to Monarch...Get in the know with all our tips, tricks, hack and special offers for all things aesthetics, performance & longevity.
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I recently said to a husband and wife—around my parents' age—'Thank you for being here.' They knew what I meant. He chuckled and said it was the first time someone referred to him as an elder. Someone else chimed in, reminding me that I, too, am an elder to some. It struck me: those who came before us have life experiences we can’t even imagine. Reverence, my friends. We don’t know everyone’s story, but when we take the time to listen, oh, the things we learn. Let’s honor the stories of those who came before us, and tell our own stories with intention, setting the tone for how we age with grace. The way we think about aging is evolving. No longer is aging seen as an inevitable decline; instead, it’s understood as a process we can influence, thanks to advances in longevity science and our mindset.
At Monarch, we focus on more than just the physical aspects of aging. We create personalized programs that support both cellular longevity and emotional vitality. Whether it’s through advanced treatments or cultivating a mindset of thriving, the story you tell yourself about aging is key to living a long, healthy, and vibrant life. Learn more about our longevity-focused Services and Devices and schedule a consultation today! New to Monarch...Get in the know with all our tips, tricks, hack and special offers for all things aesthetics, performance & longevity.
I know we’ve all been there—pushing ourselves to get that 'one last run' or telling ourselves, 'I can make this the best yet.' But let’s rethink that mindset. Don’t do this. It sets the mind out ahead, implying the best is still to come. Instead, try this: 'I am doing it.' In the present tense. This is how we train our brain to be here, to be now. Performance is about being present, not thinking about the next. Let's stop implying the best is later and start experiencing it now. When it comes to performance and recovery, the same principle applies: whether you're training, healing, or simply living, the story you tell your body matters. Research shows that how we approach recovery—mentally and emotionally—directly influences physical healing. That's why at Monarch, we focus on holistic recovery, integrating both physical treatments and mental wellness. As I heal from my concussion, I tell my body a positive story of strength and resilience. This practice helps me recover, not just physically but emotionally as well. The connection between mind, body, and spirit is undeniable, and performance enhancement starts with the story you’re telling yourself.
Mindset and Physical PerformanceThere is an increasing body of evidence showing that mental framing can enhance physical performance. Dr. Andrew Huberman's research demonstrates how our mindset directly influences our body's ability to perform. When you tell yourself, “I’m strong, I can do this,” you’re engaging the brain’s dopaminergic pathways. Dopamine isn’t just a feel-good neurotransmitter—it’s essential for motivation and muscle function. Athletes often use visualization techniques to improve performance, imagining themselves successfully completing tasks before they begin. This practice has been shown to activate the same neural circuits as actual physical movement, essentially priming the muscles for action. By telling ourselves a story of capability and success, we can unlock greater levels of performance.
Recovery: What Happens at the Cellular LevelRecovery is where the magic happens. Your muscles don’t get stronger during a workout; they get stronger in the hours and days after. This process, known as muscle repair and adaptation, is influenced by how we treat our bodies and the story we tell ourselves during recovery. When we focus on recovery, we activate processes like protein synthesis and mitochondrial biogenesis—the creation of new mitochondria, which are the energy powerhouses of our cells. Dr. Peter Attia emphasizes that proper recovery optimizes these cellular processes, ultimately enhancing muscle repair, strength gains, and endurance over time. Rest and recovery also allow the body to clear out damaged cells through a process known as autophagy, which is critical for maintaining cellular health and longevity.
The Power of Cold Therapy for RecoveryAt Monarch, we utilize tools like cold therapy (cold plunges) as part of our performance enhancement and recovery offerings. Cold exposure not only helps reduce inflammation by constricting blood vessels but also supports mental resilience. Studies show that cold exposure stimulates the production of norepinephrine, which enhances alertness, mood, and even immune function. When I walk you into a cold plunge and say, “You can do hard things,” it’s not just a motivational statement—there’s science behind it. Cold exposure helps create new neural pathways, making it easier for you to handle other stressors in life. Dr. Andrew Huberman has pointed out that regular cold exposure builds stress tolerance and can enhance both mental and physical resilience over time. By consistently challenging your body in small ways, like with cold plunges, you're training your nervous system to become more adaptable and stronger in the face of future challenges.
Mind-Body Integration for RecoveryThe recovery process is not just about the physical; it’s also deeply connected to your emotional and mental state. When I heal from my concussion, I remind myself that my body is resilient, and I speak kindly to my body as it repairs itself. This positive narrative helps create a healthier, faster recovery. Neuroscience supports the fact that positive self-talk and a constructive mindset can reduce levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which in turn allows for better recovery and healing. At Monarch, we take a holistic approach to performance enhancement and recovery. We combine cutting-edge physical treatments with a focus on mental wellness, guiding you through the recovery process with intention and care. Whether you’re looking to enhance performance or speed up recovery, Monarch has a wide array of offerings that support both. From Cold Plunges to EMSculpt Neo, we focus on creating pathways for strength, resilience, and long-term health. Remember, the story you tell your body matters—and at Monarch, we help you write one of power, grace, and recovery. Explore more about our Performance + Recovery and Body Sculpting + Contouring. New to Monarch...Get in the know with all our tips, tricks, hack and special offers for all things aesthetics, performance & longevity.
The Science of Positive Self-Talk
Cellular Impact: Beauty on a Molecular Level
Beauty Treatments at Monarch
New to Monarch...Get in the know with all our tips, tricks, hack and special offers for all things aesthetics, performance & longevity.
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AuthorBlair Lauren Brown, published author and founder of Monarch contributes to our blog regularly with original content about integrative medicine and wellness. We also feature other guest experts to share a diversity of thought leadership. Archives
April 2025
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